A groom has caused outrage by refusing to change the color scheme for his wedding.
In a recent post shared on the popular Reddit forum Am I the Asshole?, the groom recounted how he and his partner of five years started talking about wedding planning after being engaged for about nine months. He acknowledged that his fiancée is doing a “great job” of planning and confessed that he “just lets her choose what she wants” since it’s her big day.
He then explained that they had discussed color schemes for his “suit accessories and the bridesmaids’ dresses,” stressing that his favorite color was Cadbury purple. Although he claimed that the bride-to-be initially agreed with this color scheme, she later changed her mind.
“Then it got to the point where she suggested different colours we could have, ‘lilac, peach, sage green, baby blue,'” he explained. “I said, ‘I told you I wanted Cadbury purple.’ She said I couldn’t have Cadbury purple because it wouldn’t have gone with anything.”
The groom told his partner he was OK with her handling everything around the wedding and “the only thing he wanted to say” was what he would wear to the event. However, they still had an argument over the color scheme, with the groom insisting he wanted Cadbury purple.
“She got angry and said I was making it difficult and asked if we couldn’t just compromise. I said it wouldn’t be a compromise if it wasn’t the colour I wanted,” he continued. “I said if I don’t have Cadbury purple, I don’t care what colour it is and she should just choose it herself and not act like I have a say in the wedding when I clearly don’t.”
The Reddit post quickly went viral, garnering more than 2,000 upvotes. In the comments, several people criticized the groom for saying he wanted his partner to take the reins in wedding planning. They also criticized him for not compromising with the bride on the color scheme, claiming Cadbury purple is not a good fit for a wedding.
“You put the burden of planning on her and then gave her the challenge of fitting Cadbury purple into a decent colour scheme. She offered several compromises with unconventional colours, so it’s not like she wants to put you in traditional black,” one wrote. “You only contributed to one decision and it now dictates the rest of the wedding you’re not even planning.”
“Mate you have no say if you don’t help with the planning, simple as that,” wrote another. “You come in and make a decision and then she has to get suits, decorations and other wedding items in your special Cadbury purple? If you were actively involved in the wedding planning it would be different, but you sit back and let her do all the work so you can just show up on the wedding day and enjoy yourself.”
“Why can’t you wear the purple you want and the wedding party wear lilac or another shade you agree on? Seems like an easy compromise and then everyone won’t be wearing it all at once. And it looks more stylish that way too,” replied a third.
In an edit to his post, the groom clarified that the outfit he wanted for the wedding was just “simple black pants, a white shirt, a purple tie, and a white blazer.” He then gave more details about why his fiancée wasn’t keen on the idea.
“(She) is not thrilled with the color because it doesn’t fit the aesthetic of our venue. It’s a beautiful modern rustic barn with string lights and a bright atmosphere. She feels the color I chose would be too much of a contrast to what she was looking for,” he wrote.
He also clarified that he and his partner are still in the “very, very early stages” of wedding planning, as they haven’t even set a date yet. The groom then hit back at the criticism he has received for his lack of involvement in the wedding planning.
“All the work that’s been done so far is the budget, a few venue tours, the guest list (which I helped with) and choosing a color scheme,” he added. “The work hasn’t started yet. I’ve told her that if she wants my input on anything, I’ll help her, but I don’t want to stop her from having the wedding she wants.”