A woman asks for advice after discovering by “pure accident” that her new husband hired a sex worker. But Reddit and the woman herself say his reasons for doing so, and his claim that nothing happened, are nonsense.
An “overwhelmed” woman has turned to Reddit’s relationship advice forum for help after discovering that her husband had hired an escort – one he says he did not have sex with.
In a post titled “Recently found out my (29 year old) husband (29) hired an escort – what should I do?” the new bride describes the situation and her husband’s reasons for his behavior… and angers Reddit responders in the process.
Read on to find out how it all turned out.
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I seek advice
The 29-year-old woman began her post by saying that she felt “overwhelmed and unsure of what to do” after learning “purely by chance” that her husband “had hired an escort.”
OP (aka “Original Poster”) explained that the two have been together for nearly a decade and only recently got married, adding that she is “still in shock and struggling to process it all” after her discovery.
“As far as I know, he didn’t go through with it. He met with the escort but didn’t do anything, but I still question everything. Especially because he initially denied it all when I first confronted him about it,” she wrote.
OP admitted the couple had “a few issues in the past related to his social media behavior,” claiming he subscribed to an OnlyFans account and saved photos of models from Instagram. “We have spoken about these incidents and he promised he would not engage in such activity again, which I believe he has not done since,” she continued, adding, “However, this situation with the escort feels like a new and much more serious breach of trust.”
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When asked why he did it, the woman said her husband claimed “his behavior was the result of sexual frustration as we had not had sex recently because of my period and the last time we were intimate was just over two weeks ago.” She added that he always insisted that sex for him was just sex and did not involve “any feelings,” while she always viewed him as “an important emotional connection.”
She further explained that she is torn because “I’ve always believed that infidelity or crossing boundaries was a deal breaker for me,” adding that she is “embarrassed and unsure if I can ever move on from this.” Although he suggested couples therapy and “promised I’d do whatever I wanted to do to get over it,” she is “torn about whether to work through this or walk away.”
Reddit says: “Run”
“He said he didn’t go through with it and you believe that?” was the most popular reaction to the post, reflecting the sentiments of many who believe he got what he paid for.
“He didn’t pay that woman and then didn’t go through with it! He ABSOLUTELY went through with it. He’s lying right now,” another added.
Many of the responders also wanted to know how she knew he “didn’t go through with it all.” The OP said she had no “concrete evidence” and could only rely on “his word.” “I know it’s stupid of me to believe that. I guess I’ll just deny it and choose to be ignorant,” she added.
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Many also found it appalling that he had resorted to an escort after such a short time.
“And because he hasn’t had sex in two weeks because of his period! He has two hands he can use! Disgusting pig!” shouted one reader. “Run to a lawyer. He’s completely screwing OP.”
“He feels sexually frustrated for two weeks so he has to hire an escort? This is ridiculous. What will happen when you give birth and can’t have sex for months? Maybe he’ll open his own strip club,” wrote another. “I don’t know, neither do you. Go to therapy. Either way you will get it under control or have the moral support to leave. Take care of yourself!”
OP then replied: “I definitely don’t agree with the apology and think it’s nonsense. These exact thoughts have been going through my head too.”
When someone else asked, “Are you more afraid of leaving the relationship or staying in it?” the woman replied, “That’s such a simple question, but it never occurred to me to ask myself that. We’ve been together for 10 years and just got married, and the thought of leaving the relationship is scary. But staying and constantly having doubts isn’t right either.”
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After another Redditor said, “The problem with boundaries is that if you set one, you have to be able to stick to it,” OP added, “I agree and those are exactly the words I preach to others. It’s just difficult being on the receiving end and I know it makes me seem even more pathetic.”
In response to another response urging her to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases, she said she had already made an appointment and told her husband to do the same. She also explained her current situation, saying the couple “are living separately at the moment and have virtually no contact.”
She added: “I agree 1000% that he should have shared how he felt instead of taking the path he did.”
What do you think?
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